The response below reached us 3/27/01

Reply - Letter to the Editor

>To define a concept is to define its antonym

Hmm?

This leads me to wonder that if the definition of Nirvana is clearing the mind of all thoughts - or in effect "nothingness" - then does that mean that none of us really exist?

Then again, I often wonder that if the reality of "God" is too complex for mortal minds
to comprehend and understand - then why would we trust a book written by men claiming to be the "word of God"?

If Satan is a "fallen angel" that God kicked out of Heaven, does that mean he's
eligible for unemployment benefits?

Is Buddism simply Christianity with subtitles and a weight problem?

If Protestants and Catholics both worship the same God and the same Bible, then why do Catholics feel a need to use priests to speak to God for them like Johnny Cochran representing O.J.?

When the Vatican sells "indulgences" do priests and nuns get commision or employee discounts?

If it is truly better to give than to receive, then should you ever trust a minister that owns more than one pair of shoes, one car, or one house?

If God already knows what the future holds, then does that make us all nothing more than "re-run programming".

If God only made ten commandments and one of them is THOU SHALT NOT KILL.  Then just how holy can a "Holy War" be?

If current laws regarding separation of church and state make it illegal to put "nativity" scenes on government property during Christmas.  Then does that mean atheists are getting illegal free advertising the other eleven months of the year when no decorations are up?

If God created us all in his image then why would anyone need to be "born again?"

If God is love, yet made his only son die a painful death on a cross for someone else's sins,
is that child abuse?

If the Lord works in truly mysterious ways then how do we know the Druids, Rastafarians, Coptic Zionists, Deadheads, West Virginia Snake Handlers, Atheists, or any other non-mainstream faith isn't really the true path to enlightenment?

Could the real "Key To Salvation" be a trick question?

If God in his infinite wisdom created earth and all that is on it.  Isn't it a bit pompous for men to issue legal tender that claims "In God we trust" yet also make laws against plants that God put here and grow naturally?

Benjamin Franklin once wrote that beer was a sure sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Does this mean drunkards are devoutly spiritual practitioners of faith?

They say God looks out for drunks and fools? Does this mean they're the "Chosen Ones?"

If the Pope is so holy and so close to God, then why does he always look like he's experiencing a painful bowel movement? Why do you never see a picture of the man smiling?

If God is the ultimate supreme being, would he really enlist people like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and Oral Roberts to represent him?

If the only way to Heaven is through the blood of Jesus, then should places of worship now be required to furnish bio-hazard waste containers and latex rubber gloves for "laying on hands"?

If one of God's most important rules is "Thou shalt not kill.", then should you trust a military chaplain that wants to bless troops before they go into battle to kill their fellow man?

If I ask the same identical prayer to God, Allah, Budda, Jesus, Mohammad, Krishna,
Jehovah and Lucifer, and the prayer is still answered, then does that mean they've all been bought out by a larger parent company?

If the meek shall inherit the earth, then it surely must be the Gideons.  They never knock on my door at 8:20am on Sunday mornings to inquire if I'm saved.  They never ask me for money. They never go on TV to ask for more funds to go on TV more to ask for more funds. They never slander other religions. Their leaders and authorized representatives never get caught in motel scandels involving prostitutes or minors. Yet while they do spend incredibly large amounts of
time in motels, all they do is leave free Bibles there that they print themselves while only asking in return that you pass their message of love and charity along the same way it came to you.

If you ask me, if there is a just and mighty God and he's really got any true authorozed dealers
working for him - it's gotta be the Gideons. Even Hunter S. Thompson endorses them.

When and if Judgement Day ever finally rolls around and the gates of Heaven are opened for showtime, I suspect the very first seats will be reserved for the Gideons, Ben Franklin and Doctor Gonzo.

If I told you I was writing this because God told me to, would you believe me?

If I told you that the only reason I was posting this to the internet was because I was under the power of the Holy Spirit ...would you tithe me 10% of your net earnings?

All I know is that somebody out there has been hearing my prayers and whatever your name is - thank you!

Deacon Ron
Church of the Sanctified Mojo
www.cafemojo.com

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