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We expect more hurricanes this season here in Eastern North Carolina, and that means more overflows from hog farm waste lagoons into recreational and theoretically potable water supplies. Start rehearsing the song here right now, before your frightened gasps over the statistics about how many millions of gallons of pig shit and how many bloated, toxic livestock corpses will be surfing the Cape Fear in your direction take your breat away and make singing extremely difficult.

HURRICANE PREPAREDNESS TIP -- WOTS suggests that all readers should save about a half dozen two-liter drink bottles, fill them 3/4 full of water now, squeeze excess air out, seal them tightly and set them aside. When hurricanes head our way, put these bad boys in the freezer to create a sealed source of ice for the cooler you'll be using while the power's out and you're listening to a call in debate on a little transistor radio by candlelight about whether it's better to be in an Oakwood or a Fleetwood mobile home during a hurricane. Which is like trying to decide whether you should stuff your privities in a blender or a garbage disposal for fun and profit.

HOG WASTE BOOGIE

You know, I found out what make my baby hot
Is a tub full of hog waste and a tetanus shot
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

Just one thing make my baby jump and shout
Is to fish in the river for maws and snout
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

Gonna take my baby to the riverside
Jump on a hog carcass and go for a ride
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

I got another gal livin' up on the hill
The waste won't get up there but the smell sho' will
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

I got another gal, her name is Amy Lou
She's boilin' bleach in her water 'til the hog waste is through
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

Well, it bust through the levee and it bust through the locks
Now every gallon of water need a cup of Clorox
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long

Yes, there is hog waste to the left, hog waste to the right
We do the hog waste boogie all day and night
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
We do the hog waste boogie
All night long